A Break

a single manly tear rolls down my paper smooth skin yO MOMMA

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I will be taking a break. From blogging that is (and just social media and writing and anything that brings me joy in general? except going biking at the local national park because ey monsoon’s here and everything is green–i saw a fawn playing with a baby monkey and a peacock dancing during a light drizzle and a turtle maybe communicating with a bird and okay so maybe I’m not giving up everything that brings me joy).

giphy

Not that very many people would care or even notice but in case some poor unfortunate soul stumbles by for the first time in a couple months and wonders why there isn’t any recent stuff, this blog isn’t dead just resting. Feel free to click over to some of the older stuff while you’re deprived of any new content.

Not like doing this will even make any difference, seeing how normally I posted maybe once in two months anyway (barring the last couple recent stress-infused months).

But yeah I’m taking a break, albeit reluctantly, but I gotta keep reminding myself this is all in favour of achieving something I want to do. Which is to go to med school. Which I hopefully will next year if I work hard enough.
I’m taking a drop year to prepare for the pre-medical tests and I’ve been known to be distracted by this platform instead of studying so it is probably for the best, even if it will take some getting used to.

I won’t enjoy it but hey this something I want to do so gotta make sure I do end up doing it instead of, to quote internet sensation, faniel towell, “procrastinate on our one shot at existence”.

Whoop-de-do.

 

giphy2

Yours Truly,
Simran

p.s. rice has the prettiest of the plant scientific names: Oryza sativa, as does the sweet pea: Lathyrus odoratus 

p.p.s. rice + Arabidopsis thaliana were among the first plant genomes to be sequenced before the Human Genome Project.

p.p.p.s. carrots were originally purple.

And that concludes your botany lesson for today. Tune in same time next year for some juicy deets on the rich and famous from the sorta-journal I will maybe kinda hopefully keep while away.

Finally Nearing The End of Boards

It’ll be over, soon enough.

Just one more week. And only 3 papers, counting the one I’ll be giving in 5 hours. That’s not so bad, right?

Except I feel completely unprepared. And I’ve had quite a few breakdowns in the past one day. It’s really all my fault. If only I’d started working from the beginning. Or at least 3 days ago. Or even 2.  ‘Next time’, I promise myself after every nerve-wrecking exam; the next one I’ll do properly, work hard and space it out. And yet it’s always the same story. It’s like an annoying song you find yourself humming no matter how many times you yell at yourself to stop.

Have I mentioned the panic attacks? They make my chest suddenly warm up in an unpleasant manner while I go cold everywhere else. This pit inside my chest opening and sucking everything into the dark, the warm, musty air engulfing everything in its murky fog.

I don’t see the results being any good. I don’t like disappointing people—especially not myself.

Next time?

Yours Truly,

sign-off