XOXO, Gossip Girl

love u

Well I don’t know if you’ll believe me when I say this– or believe me and then think me a delirious fool–but I, well I believe in…(coughs)–in…(spits out hairball)–in…(summons a demon) in… love.

I know, I know it’s not really an opinion worthy of being declared in this dramatic manner as if it were the answer to life itself, but I realized that I’ve never actually said that out loud. And even though it’s a normal little unremarkable thing saying it even now seems…weird.

I guess I’ve just never talked about it. And doing so now seems lame and awkward and paints me a cliché and I just don’t talk about it okay!

Don’t get me wrong, I still think love is a Neurochemical Response (yeah, but…like…capitalized), and I know some might use that as a reason to brush it off as fantasy, but honestly, isn’t everything basically a neurochemical response? Happiness, sorrow, fear, anger–everything is inside our head! Technically, they all could be called a result of our imagination–but does that necessarily make them fictional? Are the blues and the greens and the purples, the stench of onions and garlic, the pitter-patter of the rain, the blaring of horns all unreal? Colours, smells, sounds–we see them the way our brain responds to them. It’s all electrical impulses and reflected waves.

Just like no two people see colours the same way, no two people will ever fall in love the same way–for some it could be a walk in the park, for others utter agony and for a few people, an absolute horror– and just the thought of it gives me a float-y lightness in the center of my chest, nestled right against my defrosting heart. That’s right folks, I have a heart. And a killer double circulatory system. And knuckle hair. And weirdly small feet. I digress.

And all right, maybe nature developed it as a means to ensure the continued survival of our species but I think that’s part of the beauty of it. I’m saying I believe in the l-word phenomenon. I’ve never experienced it, nor do I see myself inexplicably releasing dopamine and adrenaline and serotonin at the sight of a special someone anytime in the near future (blegh)–it’s not even like I have any sort of desire to do so thank you very much, but I don’t see why that should mean I have to discount it’s very existence.

I sound corny, I’m aware and hey, couple-y couples annoy me as much as the next bitter person (I’m kidding. couple-y couples annoy everybody–honestly can you not?!) but I think the l-word (not lard pudding, mind you. The other l-word) is probably prejudiced against more than it should. Of course, it is entirely possible the whole thing is overrated, having had no firsthand experience with it myself —  much like lard pudding (seriously, I need more information on this; anyone out there who has tried it?)



Lard Pudding.

(maybe I’ll make that my new sign-off. Lard pudding has a certain ring to it, what do you think?)


2 thoughts on “XOXO, Gossip Girl

  1. What on earth is lard pudding?? Just reading the words makes me feel like my arteries are getting clogged (or maybe the tightness in my chest is actually love..?)

    I’ve come to realise that I’m both cynical and romantic when it comes to love. It’s a bit hard to explain. Love in general can be hard to talk about. Props to you for writing this post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. From what I’ve heard it’s some sort of… Yorkshire pudding? And yes love has often been mistaken for the early symptoms of chronic heart diseases…
      I know what you mean about being a cynical romantic, I think I fall under that category too because while I do believe in it, the idea of a ONE TRUE LOVE terrifies me and makes bile rise in my throat at the same time 😛 And thank you, it really was pretty weird writing it

      Liked by 1 person

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