My last post was my hundredth. Which might not seem like too big a deal to most of you, but it is to me. It meant I finally did something completely and properly and loved every minute of it.
I wanted this one to be special. 101. I wanted to write something meaningful and profound, something that’ll tug at your heartstrings and float in the recesses of your mind long after you read this. If not beautiful, I would’ve settled for funny; something witty and light-hearted that’d brighten your day. But I don’t know. I should know by now that that’s not how it works.
SO, in my usual narcissistic fashion, I’ll settle for something about me (and no contrary to what you might think I hadn’t started this post with the intention of writing about myself. Yes I know I do it a lot, I do feel slightly guilty about it, but hey this is my space. It’s either this or weekly updates on social networking sites giving away too much unasked for information. So really you’re doing the world a service by reading about the stuff I write here so I don’t feel compelled to write anything on Google+ or something. Yeah, reading this is your great service to humanity. The angels smile down at you at this very moment and shake their head adoringly while contemplating including you in their ranks. You’re welcome.)
I’m a little lost. As regards to what I have no idea, there’s just this general feeling of being untethered—and by that I don’t mean free, but just sort of…ungrounded? Is that even a word? For the most part I get caught up in day to day stuff and don’t dwell on it much but then it’s always just right there. I know we’re kids and not supposed to know what to do with our lives but there’s just no joy in it, you know? It’s just blah.
With me being smack dab in the middle of boards, my anxiety is having a field day. I have bio tomorrow and should be studying but I figured I’d take a break. Help. I have this soul crushing image of receiving my results in January and finding out I got B’s and C’s. I was in the car on the way back from school on Friday and we were parked and all I could think about was all the ways I could get into a car accident right now and what would happen if I did. My first thought? I wouldn’t be able to give my exams properly. Not dying, but failing. Hermione would be proud.
Things aren’t all bad though. Some things have actually settled down, which I’m not sure is a good thing or a bad thing, but the plus side to the closing of chapters is that they allow for the beginnings of new ones. Oh and I got to finish the last of the ice cream—which never happens in my house. I’m usually the one excitedly opening the freezer to find an empty carton. What kind of a monster puts the empty ice cream tub back in the freezer to taunt the less fortunate?
Okay well its a little after 8. I should go study.
Thank you, by the way. For soldiering through all the whiny posts and the boring posts and the downright absurd ones. I mean yes, I know it’s all for the greater good, but thank you anyway.